The Storm

It happened again. I should have seen it coming. Nothing good lasts forever, but why did it have to come to such a dramatic head this soon? It wasn’t like I didn’t know the answer. The truth is always staring you in the face, and you could choose to ignore it, act like it was a dead bug on the windshield, yet it stalks you like a predator. It’s never far from you, running in the opposite direction never yields distance, and when it finally catches you, the collision has the full force of a freight train. 

There was a storm this past week and the damage left many without power. I should have let her fend for herself after all the chaos she’d brought me, but I knew the animals would suffer and I couldn’t live with that. I still had to bring two of mine home and there was no better time than now. She wouldn’t have access to a grocery store without assistance, and it would help to lighten her load. So was my thinking anyway. I should have listened to my gut instinct. 

The first car ride went as expected and put my nerves on edge. She told me off for moving out and leaving her ‘stranded’. Her tirade compared me to my father and the bastard he was for every one of her misfortunes. I thought the time alone would have helped her realize that no one cared enough to stalk her, but that was the next topic to come up. Apparently, Since I’ve left, the number of cars to go by has increased and they no longer try to keep it hidden. There’s construction on the main street a block over neighborhood detours has nothing to do with it. I took her to the store, then back home, and used the hour drive to my own to unwind. I hadn’t attempted to collect my cats. There was always the next time. I just needed to get away from her. The stress brought me to tears and rather than go shopping, or making something to eat, I wrapped up on my favorite blanket and went to sleep. 

My father offered to bring her to the store but she refused. Rather, she blew up my phone with demands. Again, I went and endured her abuse. This time she tried to guilt me into letting her stay at my place, but I flat out refused. She waited until we on the way back to start an argument, and I drove home with frazzled nerves, where I repeated the motions of the day before. Disassociating, I believe Jessica calls it. Five more days of maltreatment and mental torment continued before I summoned the energy to load up the last of my items, plus the two cats, and my father’s dog she said she was done caring for. I would have refused but I couldn’t leave him to starve or be tossed out in a storm. He’d suffered that as a puppy and was now deathly afraid of thunder.  

Once they were all safely tucked in, I went back to shut the front door and no sooner had I taken hold of the handle, blinding pain lit my skull. From the right came a hard blow, and from the left there was glass breaking from impact. I thought the wind had pushed the gateway into me and smashed, but another strike to my mouth sent me down the single step with a spin. I managed to stay upright, even as she came forward to continue her assault. When her fist came flying, I grabbed her wrist and held it tightly so she couldn’t pull back. She's 65 and couldn’t move as well as she used to. I thought she might wizen up and stop this idiocy. It wasn’t a fight she could win against someone half her age, but it didn’t stop her from trying. Her other hand came down on mine, nails digging in and drawing blood, and she was yelling obscenities. Force wasn’t going to be enough to break this, and I hated that injury was going to follow, but she was the aggressor. This needed to be done so I could make my escape. I leaned back, swung around, and released her from my hold. Her grip tore me open as she flew across the yard, but I didn’t take a moment to assess the damage. My feet carried me quickly to the car and I sped away from the house to the highway. 

I made sure to keep it at the speed limit and safe for the animals, while tending what I could to my wounds. Blood streaked down my head and into my shirt, thankfully of black material. My hand dripped and soaked into the fabric of my jeans. Moose, the poor sweet lab/German shepherd mix, was beside himself with anxiety, panting whining, and trying to muzzle me to claim my attention. He’d always come to me when shit hit the fan and this was worse than anything he’d been through. The cats were crying, which aggravated the pain, but I couldn’t bring myself to yell at them. It wasn’t their fault they were afraid and put in this situation by a psycho. Besides, I was scared too, and it made my already high blood pressure soar. There was nausea, dizziness, and I couldn’t get myself to stop shaking from the tension in my nerves. The highway out of town was a straight path, and it made concentration an effort. I turned on the radio to metal to keep me awake and somehow made it to town without further incident.   

Inside the city, however, I sent a prayer to the Goddess Brigid, asking her to keep the eyes of the townsfolk away from my vicinity. I didn’t need anyone playing hero and involving themselves, least of all the nosey biddies at the salon. They had a way of spreading gossip that would put the women on ‘The View’ to shame. It wouldn’t matter once I got home and secured the animals. I could bandage myself up and hide until the wounds healed. Li told me to call if I had issues or needed help, but he was better off keeping to his own affairs. I’d have to message my father about this and I was already dreading his reaction. Maybe I just Wouldn’t call him, and let the incident pass? It wasn’t like I was going there again. She’d just have to find her own ride to QT for smokes and a way to charge her phone. Her friend and drug dealer could order her an Uber to the laundromat every day for all I cared. The days of being her enabler were at an end.  

By some miracle, I pulled into the drive and killed the engine. The rush of quiet sent my nerves into a frenzy. Moose was finally relaxed in the passenger seat and the cats had stopped howling. I was thankful to have made it home, but the eventual call to my father made me anxious. I was going to need a reason for my decision, but I wasn’t going to revisit the events. Better they stay between two than play out for the world to see. It could wait until tomorrow, however. The animals needed to be made comfortable after that hellish journey, then I had to see about myself. I wasn’t looking forward to the cleanup process, specifically running a washcloth over the gashes, then using alcohol to disinfect. There would be pain enough to make the dizziness worsen, and I hadn’t been able to stand up yet.  

Before I could take hold of the door handle it was ripped away and an imposing figure in black kneeled at my side. The sun on the drive over had been blinding, but the shade from my trees perfectly shielded the rays and after a moment of fuzziness incomprehension, Li’s face appeared before me. Those beautiful pastel silver/blue eyes surveyed the damage, assessing the best way to move forward, while his jaw tightened to keep his anger under a tight lid. If he blew up now it was going to make it worse for both of us. There was much that I wanted to say, explanations, the entire backstory that involved childhood trauma, abuse, drugs, and narcissism, but nothing would come out. It was scary how normal that was becoming. After every fight and argument, I internalized and disassociated. I was a commendable zombie. It seemed that the time I spent out of her grasp hadn’t truly changed anything.  

In the end, he was the one to break the silence.  

“I’m going to take them inside. Then, you’re going to a hospital”. His tone was gentle, yet firm. From this point on, he was taking over and I had no choice but to follow his lead. My body was past the point of taking my own orders, and it let me know.  

The last thing I remember was the world tilting and darkness rushing in. There was a feeling of warmth, safety, then nothing but the blessed silence.